Fall in Love

I fall in love

with the little feet

which kicked away

all my grief

 

I grew so mad

every single day

to kiss this feet

that fills with joy

 

the jingling anklets

music of my life

the rosy touch

is my blood of life

 

You grow so fact before I know

Now  the stumbling feet runs so fast

to catch the sun and moon for play

 

The rosy skin turns peach

the jingling bells are now

scatting wheels chasing

life to stay ahead

 

Still madly in love

with little feet

the life driving source

and ever happiness

my kids paying their life for my luxury

Recently read an article from Linkedin titled How I made sure all 12 of my kids could pay for college themselves. I read this for the title, believing that it talks about helping kids with limited resources. Contrary to this, I was shocked to see the author boosting about how he kept his children in iron fist.

Wait I am not a promoter of a child pampering life style, should have a single child, never allow them to do any work and more importantly throw money as if it is nothing. No that is not my point. But this is completely weird. I didn’t see anything he has stated as a parents’ role.

I do not know anything about a 4yr old cleaning the toilet in his region of the world, though many of the commenter has opposed,  I do not have a word over it. But I have other concerns.  As a child i have done washing and other household works and never regrets for it.

My own daughter is 5+ now and she does loves helping me with little little children work like arranging thing back after family meal time or run around the house picking up whatever small thing I need for my work. Sometimes she would do the most the mess believing to help me but in real only doubles my work.

I will never force my child to learn new recipes and double or triple it, but I am really not against kids doing work at home that they can do. What bothers me here was the statement that children will get allowances based on how they did the chores.  They are not service person to get paid for their work. The work is just to tell kids that  they are also a responsible members of the family.

And I would pay for this only with kisses and hugs. I will pay the bill for the necessary requirement as a parent. Yes I will pay for the necessity. And she cannot clean the dinner table or the toilet sparkling clean and get money from me to spend for rubbish.

Food, the most tragic thing I could see here. The author either made them eat something they dislike or  prefer starving. Children can have their preference in their dinning table. It is not that they always choose unhealthy food. It is not mandatory to force them eat what they dislike most first. By finishing it they could hardly try tasting other things. Am not surprised that these children as adults try all kind of food. They have carved for taste and are now enjoying it.  

The Author claims that non of the children had food allergy. I doubt that is it they do not have or he does not know.  When I was a child I had a strong dislike for tomatoes. I was not a food picker, but still. Mom was so kind that she does not press on me. Tomatoes are most inevitable ingredient in Tamizhl cuisine, still she avoids. She would do a special fish curry for me adding little of lemon juice.

If someone complains of this behavior, she will defend me. “Janani will manage with any food and however it tastes. She doesn’t mind even if their is too much salt or blend. Poor child she cannot take tomatoes alone.” Thats true, Mom is an awesome cook, but sometimes it goes wrong. I would not complaint a bit and finish my plate. She cannot see me starve and I cannot see her work again. We love each other so much.

Back to my dislike towards  tomatoes, I was diagnosed with an allergy towards tomatoes in me late teens. People find it crazy to find a food allergy in a grown up girl. Moms love saved me.

The most important of all is the education system they had. “All the kids were required to take every Advanced Placement class there was.” Not all children are  Einsteins. That is not required too. A good Parent will accept your child’s limitation and appreciate their special talents,  guide them in the right path which will take them up in the ladder and enjoy good economical position as others so called Einsteins.

Success is not about getting a degree form top institution or in million dollar job. It is in the quality of life. Happiness at heart.  The most important of all is to bring the children together as an extended family and support each other, which the author has failed to do.  The description in the heading photo says.

The Thompson family photo. Or Photoshop, since they haven’t all been in the same place since 1998.

Wasn’t there been a single Christmas in the last 16 yrs  that the children wanted  to come together so that their will be at least one family photo. I end this post with Samantha Yakobchuk’s comment over the article as she has hit the nail on the head.

I guess running a household like the military worked for this family. But I wouldn’t want it. Below the picture, it says that everyone hasn’t been together since 1998. I’d much rather pay out of pocket costs for my children’s education and see them all together every so often!

Where’s the Winter

Last weekend my daughter was singing a song by herself. A song of her own. Here it goes.

tick tack tick tack
Round the clock
Baby dancing like a doll

pit pat pit pat water pot
Winter is so hot

Though amazed to see the poetess in her, I also felt sad to see her suffer in the hot burning weather even during a time, which is called as winter.

Poor child she always longs to see the real winter and the snowfall as in the cartoon series she watches. She wanted to had a day out of this burning oven. Out of the sweater that was brought from an icy region of north or north-east India, which mom made her wear for a mild chillness. Probably one day I will take her out.

Love of the Raven

A raven had built its nest near my home. Somewhere near the staircase to reach my home, not allowing anyone to cross the way. We and people reside the the next three row house find it really difficult to go home. A bird which can be shooed  away very easily becomes a nightmare for us. We all covered ourselves with big bags or boxes and run to escape it, sometimes even fell down getting hurt doubly. But, we could do nothing. It is so aggressive we could hardly think about fighting it, because it had an egg which hatched into a chick.

That day the raven made a big mistake by touching my baby. She just reached out to catch her ball that slipped out. Within seconds it stood on my baby’s head and made her scream out of fear. I hit it with something in my hand which throws him away. A heavy blow that it didn’t received so far from any of us. Perhaps it didn’t expected this. I took my baby inside. Thank God I have stopped it  pecking my baby’s head. It could have made a hole. She is not even a year old. But, it left the strong prints of its paws.

An irrevocable anger raged at my heart. “How dare it touched my baby. Today is the last day of its life. I will surely kill it” Was ooking for something that could help me. I strongly believed that it does not have the right to life as it hurts a poor innocent baby. I could hardly see that my toddler is a bigger living being for the raven. Papa just smiled, “It was afraid”. Me, “Afraid of a baby? She din’t even go close to it. I can’t see this anymore. What if it hurts her eye when we are not around?” . Had tears rolled down my check. Papa smiled again.

“It didn’t know our child as a baby. You child is precious for you and so for it too. It is doing it for its baby.” There was a sudden emptiness at my heart.  “It is doing it for its baby.” This started ringing in my mind. Am not forgive the bird for what it does, but I feel sorry for it. Is is really its chick, that it risks its life to protect.  It could be its own baby, which it could take into its flock and guide socializing. I have seen lots of crows continue parenting even after the chick are grown, be with them, guide them, help them find food and extend the parenting.

My raven may also get this opportunity of the extended parenting and be proud of its chick. Or it could just be a Cuckoo’s chick, which will fly away forgetting this raven parent. But nothing could mean that the love of this raven is lesser to any.

There are so many children who were left by the parent form whom they receive the gene, but received the love and parental care from someone else. A step-parent, adoptive parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt who pitch into the role of the parent. Who ever it may be it is always a decision of choice and not by change. There isn’t anything to force them except the love they identify in themselves.

Recently I read lots of thanks giving notes for these parents. Most of them reads to thank for the materials provided to them, a safer hame, education etc.,. But hardly about the love they had. What made them to do all to you (sometimes even risk their life like this raven) except for love. I understand the child’s longing  for the shower. Pampering is not everyone’s parenting style. Even with biological parents. Some show this by hugs and kisses and some only by taking care of the need. Remember the second type will closely watch for all your needs and to be at your side.

The children may not understand this and fly away when the phase is over, but that does not mean these parents love less. This year even if your children has forgotten you I wish you all a merry merry christmas and a happy New Year.

Daughter